As we approach Father’s Day, I figured I would weigh in on what Dad’s really are concerned with. I am gonna take the long way to get there, but I will bring it home inside of 635 words, I promise. You see the journey into fatherhood does something to a man. Your sense of value changes, and your sense of purpose changes. Having no idea that something like this is headed your way, makes these travels a bit rocky sometimes. For the first time, you start worrying about having more than beer in your fridge. For the first time, you start to value of cleaning. For the first time, I started to be conscious of saving money. For the first time, I started to think about longevity, when all along I was basically worried about the next couple hours, and what the hell I was going to eat next. I realized that my day to day mindset needed to change into a much broader, and much longer frame. And unfortunately these changes don’t just happen. Much like the weights don’t lift themselves, I had to start doing some lifting, lifting of priorities, and vices. What are the things that I value? Is everything I do pointed in that direction. If not, cut bait and go. Some of these decisions were very easy. Some of these decisions feel like standing on the edge of a giant abyss looking into fog.
You see the moment when you see/hold your first child is engulfing. You have no idea what is coming, and you absolutely can’t, but there-in lies the beauty. There lies the gift. You know at that moment you are different, the old you just evaporated into the ether. You immediately begin to feel the gravity of the experience. Over the next couple of days, and the weeks and the months to come, this birth of your child begins to come full circle and you realize on this day, a father was born, as well as a mother. Purpose is yours to uncover, pursuit is waiting at your doorstep, direction my friend, this is your job. As the next few months and years roll on, you begin to realize that the wolf is at the door. You need to act, you need to produce, you need to provide, you have to be accountable. Now, life is more. Now you are responsible for another. Now the buck stops with you. Get your shit together…….yesterday.
And you do. Some go fast, some take a bit longer. Each of us can be sure of one thing. We will make that journey, because of our little ones. The struggle, the grindstone, this becomes our reality. We provide, we transform, we grow out of necessity. But, really this journey, and this purpose is out of love. Whether you know it or not, whether you have had the conversation with your father or not. He loves you, he spends his days for you, the struggles he has are not struggles because they are far outweighed by the love in his heart, and the deep warmth in his soul for you.
If you are wondering what to get your father for Father’s Day. The answer is the person reading this blog. The answer is you. Your time, is the epitome of all gifts that he could receive. Reconcile your quarrels, lay down your swords, and just be there. Be family. Your dad wants you and wants to be appreciated. If you insist on getting him something, don’t make it a shitty plaid tie, or some dumb golf tee set. Visit the shop herefor some swag. Take him out for a beer, or for a coffee. Spend some time. This is the best.
Don’t forget, Father’s Day is June 18th. You still have time.